The Sound Of Magic
by Veresna Ussep
Summary: Now REALLY COMPLETE (Final Chapters Are UP) Musical version of "The Chamber of Secrets"
1. The Sound of Magic, Scene One

Usual Disclaimer: For this and for all subsequent chapters: I did not create any of these characters and do not make any money out of using them for my own twisted humor.  
  
  
SCENE ONE:  
**Twittering birds are heard in the background, as the camera slowly pans across views of the grounds of Hogwarts: The Quidditch Field, The Forbidden Forest, The Lake, Hagrid's Cottage, and the inner courtyard. The music swells as the camera zooms into one of the windows of the castle, and we see Headmaster Dumbledore standing atop the landing of the main staircase. As the music continues to build, he twirls around once, and then begins to sing:**  
  
  
** THE SOUND OF MAGIC (Sung to the tune of 'The Sound of Music')**  
  
_ Hogwarts is alive with the wands of magic  
  
With spells they have cast for a thousand years  
  
The halls fill my heart with the sounds of magic  
  
My heart wants to chant every spell it hears  
  
  
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the owls that soar  
  
Through the air to the Hall  
  
My heart wants to dance like a Quidditch broom  
  
As it chases the ball  
  
To soar and to dip like a golden snitch as it flies through the sky  
  
To sing sweet and strong, like a Phoenix who's learning to fly  
  
  
I go through the halls when my heart is lonely  
  
I know I will hear spells I've heard before  
  
My heart will be blessed with the sounds of magic  
  
And I'll hum once more_   
  
  
  
  



	2. Scene Two

SCENE TWO:  
**Harry and Ron are standing outside of the barrier leading to Platform 9 and ¾.**  
  
Harry: Ron, I can't believe it. We just can't get through. How are we supposed to get to Hogwarts now?  
  
Ron: I know, we'll borrow Dad's flying car!  
  
Harry: Are you serious?  
  
Ron: Sure!   
  
** CLIMB IN THE CAR NOW (Sung to the tune of 'Climb Every Mountain')**  
  
(Ron)   
_ Climb in the car now  
  
Here's how we'll go  
  
We'll follow the train tracks  
  
Not too high or low  
_   
  
(Harry)  
_ Fly in the car, Ron?  
  
Don't think we should  
  
We could get in trouble  
  
Oh, I'm sure we would_   
  
  
(Ron)  
_ Oh, Harry come on  
  
It's as easy as pie  
  
I've seen you on your broom  
  
I know you like to fly_   
  
  
(Ron and Harry, getting into the car)  
_ We'll fly to Hogwarts  
  
Won't that be swell?  
  
All the gang will love us  
  
What a tale we'll tell_   
  
  
  
**Now they are soaring through the air**  
  
(Harry)  
_ Oh, Ron you were right  
  
It is really such fun  
  
We are soaring through clouds  
  
We are chasing the sun_   
  
  
(Ron and Harry)  
_ We'll fly to Hogwarts  
  
Yes, we'll glide free_   
  
(Ron)  
_ I think we are close now_  
  
(Harry)  
_ RON-  
  
LOOK-  
  
OUT-  
  
THAT-  
  
  
TREE!!!!!!!!!_   
  
  
**The car flies straight into the Whomping Willow**  
  
  
  
  



	3. Scene Three

SCENE 3: **Back in the Great Hall, the Sorting Ceremony is about to take place. Professor McGonagall places the Sorting Hat on the chair, and it begins to sing:**  
  
The Sorting Hat Song (Sung to the tune of 'Sixteen Going on Seventeen')  
  
(The Sorting Hat)  
_ You wait, little ones, in this vast Great Hall  
  
And let there be no doubt now  
  
Your fate, little ones, listen for your call  
  
And what I'm going to spout now  
_   
  
  
(First years waiting to be sorted)  
_ To spout now!_  
  
  
(The Sorting Hat)  
_ Will you be in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff  
  
Will it be Slytherin?  
  
Ravenclaw's fine, a favorite of mine  
  
If I say you're in, you're in  
  
  
Will you be in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw  
  
Maybe in Hufflepuff  
  
Slytherin's keen, if you're kind of mean  
  
It means you've got "the right stuff"  
  
  
Hufflepuffs are such hard workers  
  
And kind of boring too  
  
But if you're the shy and quiet type  
  
They'll be adoring you  
  
  
  
That leaves only one house, Gryffindor  
  
And if you're brave and strong  
  
This house will be it, it's such a good fit  
  
It's where you belong  
_   
  
  
  
McGonagall: Ginny Weasley!  
  
  
  
**Ginny sits on the Sorting stool and the hat is placed on her head**  
  
(Sorting Hat, singing so only she can hear)   
_ Ginny Weasley, you're a Gryffindor  
  
Where else could I place you?  
  
Ron and Percy, and Bill and Charlie  
  
And Fred and George were there too  
  
  
All you redheads end up in Gryffindor  
  
'Least you're the last for now  
  
Seven years in with that set of twins  
  
Is quite enough, that I vow!  
  
  
And I know that you're pleased as well  
  
To be in Harry's house  
  
If you're in luck, and show some pluck  
  
Someday you'll be his spouse  
  
  
But, I sense another voice calling you  
  
Someone who's Slytherin-  
  
Something evil is coming to Hogwarts  
  
What's this touch of sin?  
_   
  
  
  
**During this song, Snape has risen from his place at the head table and has left the Great Hall. At the end of the song, he reappears and whispers something to Dumbledore and McGonagall, they follow him to the corridor.**  
  
  
  
  



	4. Scene Four

SCENE FOUR: **Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall are walking to confront Harry and Ron, who are sitting in Snape's office.**  
  
  
** Our Harry (Sung to the tune of 'Maria')**  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ He had a spree and struck a tree  
  
And Muggles saw his car  
  
He waltzes into Hogwarts late  
  
And thinks he's quite the star  
  
He's used to fame and glory  
  
Just because he has that scar  
  
I'm getting quite fed up with all this hogwash_   
  
  
(Snape)  
_ He thinks he's quite the hero  
_   
(McGonagall)   
_ Well, his bravery is real _  
  
(Snape)  
_ He's always courting danger _  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ Yes, it shows he has some zeal  
_   
  
(Snape)  
_ I'm afraid I have to say it:  
  
Albus, I firmly feel  
  
That Potter should be thrown right out of Hogwarts  
_   
  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ I'd like to say a word in his defense_  
  
Dumbledore: Yes, Minerva?  
  
  
(McGonagall, struggling to fine something good to say)  
_ He's really  
  
Not so  
  
Dense_   
  
(Snape snickers while McGonagall purses her lips in frustration)  
  
(Dumbledore)  
  
  
_ How do you solve a problem like our Harry?  
_   
(McGonagall)  
_ How can you catch a blodger or a snitch?_  
  
(Dumbledore)  
_ How do you find a way to deal with Harry?_  
  
(Snape)  
_ A month of detention with loss of house points?_  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ You Wish!_  
  
(Dumbledore)  
_ Many a spell you know you'd like to teach him  
  
There's many a curse he might not want to hear  
  
_   
(McGonagall)  
_ But how do you make him stay?  
  
Keep "You-know-who" out of the way  
_   
  
(Dumbledore)  
_ Sooner or later he's bound to reappear   
_   
(All three)  
_ Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Harry?  
_   
  
(Dumbledore)  
_ How do you make a Boggart disappear?_  
  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ When I teach him I get mad  
  
He's unruly and he's bad  
  
And he's always up to something late at night  
  
He goes sneaking round the grounds  
  
Where there's trouble, he'll be found  
  
He's a rotter! He's a devil!_   
  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ He's a sprite!_  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ He can boil a cauldron down  
  
Turn a smile into a frown  
  
I swear he plays around with magic like a toy_   
  
  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ He is gifted!  
_   
  
(Snape)  
_ He's a git!_  
  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ He is fearless!  
_   
  
(Snape)  
_ Gives me fits!_  
  
_ He's a nuisance!_  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ He's our savior!_  
  
  
  
  
(Dumbledore)  
_ He's a boy! _  
  
  
  
(All three)  
_ How do you solve a problem like our Harry?  
  
How can you catch a blodger or a snitch?  
  
How do you find a way to deal with Harry?  
_   
  
(Snape)  
_ A month of detention with loss of house points  
_   
  
  
(McGonagall)  
_ You Wish!_  
  
(All three)  
_ Many a spell you know you'd like to teach him  
  
There's many a curse he might not want to hear  
  
But how do you make him stay  
  
Keep "You-know-who" out of the way  
  
Sooner or later he's bound to reappear   
  
Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Harry?  
  
How do you make a Boggart disappear?_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Scene Five

  
  
  
Scene 5: In the "Defense Against the Dark Arts" class, Lockhart explains his philosophy on life.  
  
  
** The Gilderoy Things (Sung to the tune of 'My Favorite Things')**  
  
  
_ Dozens of best-selling books that I've written  
  
Love happy looks on the ladies I've smitten  
  
Valentines sent out by Cupids with wings  
  
These are a few of the "Gilderoy" things  
  
  
  
  
Pictures of me with my smile that's so cheery  
  
Bright-colored dress robes, I want nothing dreary  
  
Plucking with ease on adoring heartstrings  
  
These are a few of the "Gilderoy" things  
  
  
  
  
  
People who buy all the lies that I've spouted  
  
It's so amazing so few of you doubted  
  
That I can do all these marvelous things  
  
You can't imagine the joy that it brings  
  
  
  
  
  
  
If you catch me  
  
Telling lies, well  
  
This is what I'll do  
  
I'll simply remember my favorite spell  
  
I'll 'Obliviate' you too!_   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Scene Six

  
  
Scene 6: In Potions Class, Snape discusses why he finds teaching so oddly satisfying:  
  
  
  
** My Favorite Schemes (Also sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things". Think of if as a Reprise, okay?)  
**   
(Snape)  
_ Points off of Gryffindor for any reason  
  
Slytherin winning the house cup each season  
  
Stoppering death, bottling fame in my dreams  
  
There are a few of my favorite schemes  
  
  
  
  
Potions that bubble and boil in my cauldron  
  
Slytherin bullies who move in a squadron  
  
Potter in agony, crying out screams  
  
These are a few of my favorite schemes  
  
  
  
  
Chastising students on potions that they try  
  
With waspish comments that hurt until they cry  
  
Silvery teardrops that flow down in streams  
  
These are a few of my favorite schemes  
  
  
  
  
I insult them  
  
Those inane twits  
  
Till they're feeling sad  
  
And when I have ground all their egos to bits  
  
  
I'm happy they feel so bad_   
  
  
  
  
  
**Snape bows to the enthusiastic applause from the Slytherins and contemptuous jeers of the Gryffindors.  
  
  
Snape: "Right then, on to my next song!"   
  
Hermione waves her hand in the air.  
  
Snape: "What now, Miss Granger?"   
  
Hermione: "But, sir, Professor Gilderoy has only gotten one song so far, and this will be your third. It isn't fair!"  
  
Snape: "Malfoy?"  
  
Draco: "Yes, sir?"  
  
Snape: "Tell me, how many Severus Snape fan sites are there on the internet?"  
  
Draco: "Uh, as of this morning, eight thousand and twelve, sir."  
  
Snape: "Indeed. And how many Gilderoy Lockhart fan sites are there?"  
  
Draco: "Besides the one he runs himself?"  
  
Snape: "Yes."  
  
Draco: (Smirking) "None, sir!"  
  
Snape: "Any more questions, Miss Granger?"  
  
Hermione turns red and shakes her head no.  
  
Snape: "As I was saying-"  
  
  
  
  
  
** Se-ver-us (Sung to the tune of "Do-Re-Mi")**  
  
(Snape)  
_ Let's start at the very beginning  
  
You dunderheads are hopeless  
  
When you read any fic it is ob-vi-ous  
  
That the coolest dude is Se-ver-us  
_   
  
  
  
(Slytherins)  
_ Se-ver-us_  
  
  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ Se-ver-us  
The rest of you are just jealous  
I'm the best  
_   
  
  
  
(Slytherins)  
_ He's the best_  
  
(Snape)  
_ For I am called Se-ver-us……..  
_   
  
  
  
Snape: "Let's spell it out for everyone, shall we? Hmmm……"  
  
  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ S-I'm head of Slytherin  
_   
  
  
  
(Draco)  
_ E-there's Envy in his heart_  
  
  
  
  
(Crabbe)  
_ V-there's Venom in his grin_  
  
  
  
  
(Goyle)  
_ E-he plays an Evil part_  
  
  
  
  
(Hermione)  
_ R-he's really, really Rude_  
  
  
  
  
(Ron)  
_ U-to every one of Us_  
  
  
  
  
(Harry)  
_ S-his Surly attitude_  
  
  
  
  
(Everyone)  
_ That's why he's called Se-ver-us!_  
  
  
  
  
  
Snape: Again!  
  
  
(Whole Class)  
_ S-he's head of Slytherin  
  
E-there's envy in his heart  
  
V-there's venom in his grin  
  
E-he plays an Evil part_   
  
  
  
  
(Slytherins)  
_ R-he's really, really Rude  
_   
  
(Gryffindors)  
_ U-to every one of Us_  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ S-my Surly attitude!_  
  
  
(All together)  
_ That why he's called Se-ver-us!_  
  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ When you know how words can sting  
  
You will say most anything  
  
_   
Snape: Slytherins?  
  
  
(Slytherins)  
_ When you know how words can sting  
  
You will say most anything  
_   
  
  
**Snape leads the class out of the dungeons to cavort around the Hogwarts grounds**  
  
  
  
  
**They march down the grand staircase. Draco pushes Neville over the railing:**  
  
(All)  
_ S-he's head of Slytherin  
_   
  
**They skip through the space between their two tables in the Grand Hall. Ron hits Goyle in the face with a cream pie.**  
  
(All)  
_ E-there's Envy in his heart_  
  
  
**They go by the Whomping Willow and Crabbe pushes Ron into it's branches**  
  
(All)  
_ V-there's Venom in his grin_  
  
  
**As they dance by the lake, Hermione nudges Millicent Bulstrode into the water.**  
  
(All)  
_ E-he plays an Evil part_  
  
  
**In the Quidditch viewing stands, Snape bends down and zaps Hermione's robes, setting her on fire**  
  
(Snape)  
_ R-I'm really, really Rude  
_   
  
**Hermione dances around trying to put the fire out**  
  
(Hermione)  
_ U-To every one of Us  
_   
  
**Harry and Draco start bopping each other over the head with their Quidditch brooms.**  
  
(Harry and Draco)  
_ S-His surly attitude_  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ That's why I'm called Se-ver-us_  
  
  
  
(Neville-from the infirmary, with a bandage over his head)  
_ S!_  
  
(Goyle-still wiping the pie from his face)  
_ E!_  
  
(Ron-still trapped in the branches of the Whomping Willow)  
_ V!_  
  
(Millicent, popping her head, still covered with seaweed, out of the lake)  
_ E!_  
  
(Draco, just before being knocked down by Harry)  
_ R!_  
  
(Hermione, while Hagrid throws a bucket of water on her to put out the flames)  
_ U!_  
  
(Harry, taking Draco's broom and breaking it in two over his knee)  
_ S!_  
  
  
  
(Everyone)  
_ SE-VER-US!!_  
  
  
  
  



	7. Scene 7

Scene Seven: The first meeting of 'The Dueling Club'.  
  
  
** DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU WANT TO DUEL (Sung to the tune of 'The Lonely Goatherd')**  
  
(Lockhart)  
_ Here in the hall we will start our club now  
  
Do you, do you, do you, do you want to duel?  
  
I thought we'd stir up a little hubbub now  
  
Do you, do you, do you want to duel?  
  
  
  
Students from all of the houses are here now  
  
Do you, do you, do you, do you want to duel?  
  
Professor Snape, let me make it quite clear now  
  
Do you, do you, do you want to duel?  
_   
  
  
  
(Students)  
_ Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble  
  
Oh, oh, this is his bad day  
  
Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble  
  
Snape's gonna blast him good today_   
  
  
  
  
(Lockhart)  
_ Look how politely I bow and I greet him  
  
Do you, do you, do you, do you want to duel?  
_   
(Harry)  
_ Snape looks like he plans to skin and to eat him  
  
I wouldn't want to, wouldn't want to duel  
_   
  
  
(Gilderoy)  
_ Neither of us will be aiming to kill now  
  
We just want to, we just want to, want to duel_   
  
(Ron)  
_ Oh, what shame, that would be a thrill now  
  
Watching Snape disintegrate that fool_   
  
  
  
(Students)  
_ Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble  
  
Oh, oh, this is his bad day  
  
Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble  
  
Snape's gonna blast him good today_   
  
  
  
  
**Snape blasts Gilderoy across the room  
Gilderoy gets up shakily and retrieves his wand**  
  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ One little charm that you must learn well is  
  
If you, if you, if you, if you want to duel  
  
One little spell called 'Expelliarmus'  
  
If you, if you, if you want to duel_   
  
  
  
  
(Lockhart)  
_ Professor Snape, that is quite enough now  
  
Don't you, don't you, don't you, don't you think so too?  
  
Maybe the kids want to strut their stuff now  
_   
(Snape)  
_ You just hate to, you just hate to lose  
_   
  
  
  
(Slytherins)  
_ Uh, huh, Snapey is the one guy  
  
Uh, huh, you don't want to duel  
  
Uh, huh, I suggest you don't try  
  
That Gilderoy is such a fool!_   
  
  
  
(Students)  
_ Let's just start blasting spells out of our wands now  
  
We just want to, we just want to, want to duel  
  
Watch as the wands fall right out of our hands now  
  
We just want to, we just want to duel  
_   
  
  
  
  
(Ron)  
_ Draco Malfoy was partnered with Harry  
  
In a little, in a little, little duel  
  
The next thing that happened was quite scary  
  
In their little, in their little duel_   
  
  
(All)  
_ Oh, no, Snapey's helping Malfoy  
  
Oh, oh, they're two evil gits  
  
Oh, dear, with Snapey helping Malfoy  
  
Our hero might be blown to bits  
_   
  
  
  
  
  
(Hermione)  
_ Snape taught Malfoy how to shoot out a snake now  
  
In their little, in their little, little duel  
  
That ended up being a big mistake now  
  
In their little, in their little duel  
_   
  
  
  
  
(Justin Finch-Fletchley)  
_ Harry was trying to block a spell now  
  
In their little, in their little, little duel  
  
And to the snake he could talk quite well now  
  
And that finished up their little duel_   
  
  
  
  
  
(Students)  
_ Oh, Oh, he's a parselmouth, oh  
  
Oh, oh, he can talk to snakes  
  
Oh, oh, he's a parselmouth, oh  
  
What a difference that makes_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ I always suspected that he was a freak now  
  
Even though he was more than a little dim  
  
And seeing how well with snakes he can speak now  
  
He just might be "The Heir to Slytherin!"_   
  
  
  
  
  
(Snape)  
_ Oh, no Harry_  
  
(Students echoing)  
_ (Oh, no Harry)_  
  
(Snape)  
_ Is he the heir-ee?_  
  
(Students)  
_ (Is he the heir-ee?)_  
  
(Snape)  
_ I wonder if he is  
_   
(Students)  
(I wonder if he is)  
  
(Snape)  
_ I wonder if he is_  
  
(Students)  
_ (I wonder if he is)_  
  
(Snape)  
_ I wonder if he is_  
  
(Students)  
_ (I wonder if he is)  
_   
(Snape)  
_ The heir to Slyther-slyther-slytherin  
_   
(All)  
_ WHOA!_  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Scene 8

Scene Eight: The Heir of Slytherin terrorizes the whole school.  
  
  
** SO LONG, FAREWELL (Sung to the tune of, uh, 'So Long, Farewell', duh)**  
  
(Students)  
_ There's a weird sort of monster who is prowling the halls  
  
And is writing on the walls in blood  
  
And all around Hogwarts they are wondering if  
  
They're gonna stop at just Mudbloods_   
  
(Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle)  
_ Mudbloods, mudbloods_  
  
(Students/Slytherin trio)  
_ We wonder who's the heir now (Mudbloods)  
  
The rest of you beware now (Mudbloods)  
  
'Cause here's a list (Mudbloods)  
  
For you_   
  
  
**After each of the victims tell their tale, they are petrified and removed to a hospital bed. Also, with each chorus more and  
more of the students start looking very suspiciously at Harry.**  
  
  
(Mrs. Norris)  
_ So long, farewell, the monster looked at me  
  
I hung by tail, for all the school to see  
_   
  
  
(Colin Creevey)  
_ So long, farewell, I took a little pic  
  
Next thing I know, I was hard as a brick  
_   
  
  
  
(Justin Finch-Fletchley)  
_ So long, farewell, I peered through Headless Nick  
  
It didn't help, I still got frozen quick  
_   
  
  
(Nearly Headless Nick)  
_ So long farewell, oh, can you quite believe it?  
  
Although I'm dead, even I could not perceive it?  
  
_   
  
(Penelope Clearwater)  
_ So long, farewell, I thought we were so clever  
  
I hope we won't be frozen here forever  
  
_   
  
(Hermione)  
_ So long farewell, can it get any stranger?  
  
The mirror we brought could not remove the danger  
_   
  
  
**Music slows**  
(Ron, very sadly)  
_ My sister's gone, I think that she will pay now  
_   
(Harry, getting an idea)  
_ The Chamber's here, I think I know the way now  
  
We'll try_   
  
**Gestures for Ron and Lockhart to go with him)  
  
  
(Lockhart, aghast)  
_ "WE'LL" try?_  
  
  
**Ron and Harry pull out their wands and point them at him**  
  
(Ron and Harry, their mouths and wands set firmly)  
_ We'll try!_  
  
(Crowd, mournfully)  
_ Goodbye!_  
  
  
  



	9. Scene 9

Scene 9:   
  
  
**Harry prepares to enter the 'Chamber of Secrets'**  
  
  
** I AM GRYIFFINDOR (Sung to the tune of 'I Have Confidence')**  
  
  
  
_ What will this beast be like?  
  
I wonder  
  
How will I face him down?  
  
I wonder  
  
  
  
It should be so exciting  
  
To be always the hero, the key  
  
I wish I could feel really brave now  
  
Oh, what's the matter with me?  
  
  
  
  
I've never longed for adventure  
  
Just wanted love, a Mum and Dad  
  
Why must I be in every adventure?  
  
And, why am I so sad?  
  
  
  
  
  
A Chamber that holds a Secret  
  
What's so fearsome about that?  
  
Oh, I must keep my wits quite about me  
  
If I don't, this could really turn bad  
  
I must think of the girl I am saving  
  
It's for Ginny; I'll never turn back  
  
  
  
  
Headmaster, please help me out now  
  
And I hope that you'll be proud now  
  
Show you I'm worthy  
  
And while I show you  
  
I"ll show me  
  
  
  
  
So, let the Heir just try and stop me  
  
I will beat him at his game  
  
I'm a Gryffindor, it's more than just a name  
  
I know I can win, I am Gryffindor within!  
  
  
  
Somehow I will defeat him  
  
I will be brave and fine  
  
And I'll get Ginny (Yes, I will Ron)  
  
We will escape from here  
  
  
  
And mind me, with each spell I am more certain  
  
Dumbledore will help me out  
  
I am Gryffindor, and let there be no doubt  
  
You'll have to agree, there is Gryffindor in me  
  
  
  
I'm a Gryffindor in spirit  
  
I'm a Gryffindor in soul  
  
I'm a Gryffindor, success will be my goal  
  
And so you see, I am Gryffindor indeed  
  
  
  
  
Gryffindors never shirk now  
  
Gryffindors never stop  
  
Gryffindors always go to work now  
  
When there's a task-We hop!  
  
  
  
  
  
I tell you, I am ready for the Heir now  
  
I am ready for that beast  
  
I'm a Gryffindor and Godric surely knows  
_   
  
**Stops, seeing Ginny lying deadly still on the floor of the chamber**  
  
  
_ (Oh, help!)_  
  
  
**Steals himself to continue**  
  
  
_ I'm a Gryffindor, and Godric surely knows  
  
And you will see, there is Gryffindor in me!  
  
  
_   
  
  
  
**Within the 'Chamber of Secrets', Harry meets Tom Riddle, who explains who he is**  
  
** SOMETHING BAD (Sung to the tune of 'Something Good')  
**   
  
(Riddle)  
_ You see I had a wretched childhood  
  
In fact I had a horrible youth  
  
But something in my wretched, horrible past  
  
Prepared me for my moment of truth  
  
  
  
And here you are, standing there, oh so brave  
  
Just like I knew you would  
  
You'd never turn down such a chance now   
  
You always do something good  
  
  
  
_   
_  
Nothing comes from goodness  
  
Goodness knows, that's sad  
  
And one day in my youth or childhood  
  
I knew I could be something bad_   
  
  
  
(Harry)  
I_ also had a wretched childhood  
  
An orphan, all alone, like you  
  
But somehow I managed to stay good  
_   
(Riddle)  
_ And why do you think that's true?_  
  
  
  
(Harry)   
_ And why are you standing there, hating me?  
  
As if you know me, too_   
  
(Riddle)  
_ Oh, Harry, I think you would know now  
  
Someday I will be "You-know-who!"  
_   
  
  
(Riddle and Harry)  
_ We are always meeting  
  
And it's oh, so sad_   
  
  
(Riddle)  
_ Harry, I think that you- _  
  
(Harry)  
_ Will die now?_  
  
(Riddle)  
_ It's time to do something……_  
  
(Riddle and Harry)  
_ Something bad_  
  
  
  
  



	10. Epilogue

EPILOGUE  
  
**With everyone safely restored, the whole cast reassembles in the Great Hall. Dumbledore stands up and asks for everyone's attention.**  
  
Dumbledore: "Now, before we leave, I just have a few end-of-term notices.   
  
First, if you've enjoyed this little musical interlude, please be sure to leave a nice review. Or a flame, if you're so inclined.  
  
Second, if you have any suggestions for a musical for the author to use as the basis for a parody of "Prisoner of Azkaban", please let her know.  
  
Third, I think it's time for another song!"  
  
McGonagall: "Oh, Albus, you're not going to sing again are you?"  
  
Dumbledore: "Oh, we all are, Minerva, we must. For we haven't yet given the proper credit to the real creator of all of this. Will everyone please stand up?"  
  
**As the teachers and students rise from their seats, Dumbledore gestures with his hands, and the words to the final song appear in the air above them.**  
  
JKR (Sung to the tune of 'Edelweiss')  
  
(All)   
_ JKR, JKR  
  
For your next book we're waiting  
  
Hear us roar, we want more  
  
We are anticipating  
  
  
You said there'd be three more books you know  
  
Must be wait forever?  
  
JKR, your 'Potter'  
  
Is the best series ever!_   
  
  



End file.
